When I saw that JewsCanJump.com had just dropped and was now available for purchase again, I did what everyone else does in these situations — I asked Google if Jews could really jump,because if Jews jumping is a thing, maybe this name has some value. As you can see, Google doesn’t think Jews can jump.
Don’t get enough fiber from your daily diet?
Do you sometimes feel bloated and disgusting, like you have hardening sludge in your stomach?
Do you want to feel thinner without getting your ass off the couch?
If I told you that you could feel really thin, but you may shit in your pants to achieve the result, would you do it?
If you answered YES to the above questions, it’s time to start downing Fiberburst until every last piece of fecal matter in your body flows like a gooey chocolate kiss down a rainbow into our patent-pending Pantybomb, guaranteed to keep your shit contained. And, if you don’t want your shit to stink, try Pantybomb Rose Garden.
As a new convert / viewer of American Horror Story: Freak Show (Season 4), I’ve spent a lot of time remembering why clowns creep me out. I’ll admit that I’ve been viewing the world lately through the prism of American Horror Story. And, that is how you are now reading about BuckNolan.com (which you can buy at Godaddy).Charles Logan Buxton (stage name: Buck Nolan) was the world’s tallest clown, towering over everyone at 7’4″. Even though Buck died in 2004, I haven’t found a taller clown.
Well, the website doesn’t exist yet, but the domain name BeerDouches.com is available. Plus, it’s versatile and brandable. And, it’s a category killer in the ever growing douchebag market. The no brainer use for this domain is a site (and corresponding app) that warns you when a craft beer douchebag may be near you at your local brew pub / gastro pub / place with a million local beers on tap. Nothing worse than getting beer shamed while simply trying to get a cold one.
Yeah, maybe Stella Artois isn’t the greatest beer ever, but if I’m next to you ordering it, I don’t need a lesson on yeast and hops. Maybe I’m just ordering the first thing I see because I want to get away from your Unibomber beard and that knit beanie you bought at Hollister (but want to pretend you bought at someplace that sells sustainable cotton, viscose and nylon blends). If BeerDouches.com was up and running, hopefully someone would have already registered your phone number on the site, so the GPS signal could identify where you are in the bar and I could just move to another open spot to order in peace.