Archive - March 2015

1
We’re Giving Away BuckyBooks.com to a Badger B-Ball Fan
2
HipsterDoucheCafe.com – Where even the Macs have Mustaches and Fedoras
3
Help HankMarr.com Support Young Jazz Musicians in Ohio
4
WarrenGroen.com – The Newest Poster Child of U.S. Political Dysfunction
5
Hashtag.com – Resume Buzzwords Meet Cellphones and Chivalry
6
Does Mike Damone’s “5 Point Plan” For Picking Up Women Still Work 30+ Years Later?
7
AskHamas.com – The Funniest Questions The Twitterverse Asked Hamas
8
PancakeJesus.com – Seeing The Light One Flapjack at a Time
9
Hillary Clinton’s 11 Personal Email Addresses
10
Tweets That Can Get You Killed

We’re Giving Away BuckyBooks.com to a Badger B-Ball Fan

We love the Badgers!  And in celebration of their Final Four appearance we’re giving away BuckyBooks.com to a Badger fan.

To enter the contest to win BuckyBooks.com, you have to do one or more of the following (each has points):

1. Retweet our Twitter post about the contest (1 point); and/or

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HipsterDoucheCafe.com – Where even the Macs have Mustaches and Fedoras

We here at DomainRoast have very exciting news for any and all flannel aficionados in their mid-20s. Its time to tap into that endless piggybank called crushing debt and snap up HipsterDoucheCafe.com!

GJ Bro!

Despite having the $4 coffee, the fair trade organic batch roasted humane vegan beans and a barista whose primary concern is waxing his ‘stache’, some cafés just don’t exude that special judgmental feeling. You need a safe place, where you can look unique, creative, edgy – all while conforming to an irritating trend in every conceivable way. Yes, you’ll look back on these days and cringe the way your parents do about bell-bottoms and feathered hair, but for now you’re gorgeous! Read More

Help HankMarr.com Support Young Jazz Musicians in Ohio

As a lover of jazz, I’d never heard of Hank Marr, until I discovered that HankMarr.com was dropped by the domain’s previous owner.  After Googling who Hank Marr was, Domain Roast decided that we should buy the name and put something on it to keep his memory alive (he died in 2004).  See, Hank Marr was a great jazz organist (the Hammond B-3, to be exact), but never rose to the level of fame as Jimmy Smith, Groove Holmes or Hank McDuff.

Marr was born in Columbus, Ohio, in 1927.  In 1961, he debuted Greasy Spoon:

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WarrenGroen.com – The Newest Poster Child of U.S. Political Dysfunction

New Hampshire State Rep. Warren Groen (R), is the perfect symbol of how the U.S. political system has sunk to new lows of disgrace and dysfunction. As you may have already heard, Rep. Groen and his Republican colleagues in the New Hampshire House of Representatives voted down a bill created and lobbied for by a fourth grade class.  These 10-year-olds worked on the bill to learn how government works (well, actually used to work, as it turns out), to see a how a bill becomes a law and all that stuff.

The legislation proposed by the fourth graders was about as un-political as a bill could be.  The kids, from Hampton Falls, NH, drafted a bill the make the Red-Tailed Hawk the official “State Raptor.”  This should be a layup, right?  No matter how ideologically crippled a legislative body is, surely it can come together for an hour and give some young kids hope that the political system works.

Wrong.

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Hashtag.com – Resume Buzzwords Meet Cellphones and Chivalry

A Facebook friend of mine recently lost his mind when his college statistics professor referred to a pound-sign (#) as a hashtag (also #).
Now, I don’t need that kind of willful lack of perspective in my life #tyvm, but I just had to wiki ‘hashtag.’ What started as an innocent attempt to discover the origin of a word quickly devolved into a meme drenched frenzy, until I ended up at Hashtag.com.

What is it? Where did it come from? Why are freshly coiffed young people checking their phones in heraldic tunics with #sparklepony on standby? I quickly dispatched our research team to get to the bottom of this internet mystery. Here are our top 5 theories about the nature of this #fabulous web enigma.

1. LinkedIn’s daring new venture in #ambiguity.

LinkedIn, capitalizing on its already stellar reputation for #networking websites that may or may not be worth your time, is rolling out its new #ChatRoulette inspired career site, in which under-qualified recent graduates are given 30 seconds to prove to prospective employers that, yes, their Master of Theatrical Arts degree totally qualifies them to work your corporation’s front desk – with style, panache and jazz hands. The #buzzword drenched title and info pop-up both indicate that you can build your resume, start an incredible career, save the world and get #kewl prizes while doing so! If that doesn’t get your 25-year-old #Millennial off the couch and out of your basement, nothing will!

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Does Mike Damone’s “5 Point Plan” For Picking Up Women Still Work 30+ Years Later?

Mike Damone, the kind of sleazy, yet kind of cool, ticket scalper / ladies’ man helped make Fast Times at Ridgemont High one of the most iconic teen movies of all time.  And, it’s by far our favorite teen movie of the 80’s.   We’re going to go out on a limb here, and guess that you’ve never wondered or cared what happened to the domain names of the cast members.  Lucky for you Domain Roast does.

If you were a teenage boy in the 80’s and thought you had at least some game with the ladies, you might have tried Mike Damone’s famous “5 Point Plan”, the original How-To-Get-Any-Woman-You-Want” blueprint:

Does it still work today?  It works better than Sam Goody does at selling records and cds.

For the record, the author of this post, only subscribed to Point #1, did not follow points 2-4.  And,  I was not a fan of Led Zeppelin, as my preferred make out music was Rick James’s Fire and Desire (perfectly cued up on my car’s cassette player).

Anyway, Robert “Bob” Romanus, agreed to repeat Damone’s famous “5 Point Plan” for a fan who caught up with him in 2011.  Enjoy.

This made Domain Roast like Bob Romanus even more.  It also led us to wonder two things:  What Mr. Romanus was up to these days and if he owned his own URL.  Until recently, Mr. Romanus was the owner of  Bob’s Espresso Bar in North Hollywood.   When we checked on RobertRomanus.com and BobRomanus.com, we saw that both were registered, but about to drop.  Both became available in early October 2014.   A few days ago, we checked again and saw that RobertRomanus.com had been registered by someone in Japan.  So, to preserve BobRomanus.com and MikeDamone.com for Mr. Romanus, we registered both names.

Mr. Romanus, they are yours.  Just tell us how to transfer them to you and we will.  You must own MikeDamone.com, one of the great characters in teen movie history.

It would be extremely cool if you’d make a 10 second video on your phone saying “hello” to Domain Roast and your fans who read this blog.  But, that’s not necessary.  Although, it would be really awesome.  Like bucket list awesome.

Thanks for making 1982 a great year.

AskHamas.com – The Funniest Questions The Twitterverse Asked Hamas

Terror groups are know for among other things, really shitty PR ideas.  Perhaps, the worst ever was Hamas’s recent #AskHamas promoted hashtag on Twitter, where you could ask Hamas whatever you wanted.

Here are some of our favorites (including a few of our own):

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PancakeJesus.com – Seeing The Light One Flapjack at a Time

Jesus has appeared to people in various forms over the past 2000 years.  For some reason, in the U.S., Jesus seems to show up on pancakes.   It’s a much more creative (and delicious) way to appeal to believers than appearing in a burning bush (Jews).  Yes, scaring the shit out of me with fire that talks to me would momentarily work, but peacefully appearing on a tasty carb patty would work better.  Who doesn’t love pancakes?  So,  it’s a smart move on Jesus’s part.  Need to convince some slob who isn’t attending church but once a year that he better get his fat ass in gear, show up in something you know he loves way more than you (Jesus) – a piping, hot stack of pancakes oozing with syrup and butter.

Now that PancakeJesus.com has dropped and is available again, it’s the perfect time for someone who loves the Lord, pancakes, miracles, or just overall cool stuff to grab this domain and start tracking Jesus’s appearance at diners and home kitchens across the country.

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Hillary Clinton’s 11 Personal Email Addresses

Now that Hillary Clinton is being investigated for using her personal email to conduct government business, Domain Roast has compiled a list of her 11 most used email addresses:

Hillary@GOPKilla.com

Hillary@OverBenghazi.com

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Tweets That Can Get You Killed

In the last 24 hours we’ve tweeted directly at Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei:
 

And, might have tweeted about Vladimir Putin

If you never see another post from us, call any producer at CBS’s 48 Hours and tell them one of these two guys are probably responsible for our disappearance.

 

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