Author - Domain Roaster

1
How Nancy Grace Made BigFatDoobie.com So Valuable
2
“Walk of Shame” To Launch New Website On SluttyAndProud.com
3
PubeCuts.com – It’s Great Clips for Pubic Hair
4
Should Westboro Baptist Church Rebrand to GodHatesThingsIDontLike.com?
5
13 Signs You Belong On LiberalDouche.com
6
How Many Douchebags In A Hummer Limo Wear Affliction T-Shirts?
7
Where Your Gay Dog Would Rather Shop Instead of Petco
8
Why Does Mike Huckabee Own FreeWomanVideo.com?
9
How Worthless Is Your U.S. Senator’s Domain Name?
10
The 4 Places Rep. Steve Scalise Thought He Was Speaking in 2002

How Nancy Grace Made BigFatDoobie.com So Valuable

Hearing Nancy Grace talk about anything makes us feel like rolling and smoking the biggest, fattest doobie available.  Nancy Grace is annoying on so many levels, but perhaps the most annoying she ever is, is when she tries to sound hip and with it, by using worn out terms like calling a joint a “big fat doobie.”

In a recent tirade on the Dr. Drew HLN show, Nancy screamed, “Quit showing a big fat doobie”, to Dr. Drew because he had shown a joint on some b-roll.

Her Dr. Drew interview made us wonder, had anyone registered the domain BigFatDoobie.com? What about BigFatDoobies.com?  BigFatDoobie.com was originally registered in 2008, but is now available again.  While BigFatDoobies.com was originally registered in 2013 and is in the process of becoming available again.

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“Walk of Shame” To Launch New Website On SluttyAndProud.com

The “Walk of Shame” (“WOS”), in an attempt to update its image and leave the “shame” behind, will launch SluttyandProud.com later this year.   CEO Sammy Haus said, “We needed to do something to show the world that hooking up with someone who you don’t know that well, and then making the disheveled walk home in the morning as onlookers judge you, is something the judgers should feel shameful about, not those who got lucky.”

So, why change the name of your well-known brand?  According to Mr. Haus, the final straw was the cinematic bomb “Walk of Shame” that barely got a  12% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  “And, it wasn’t only the movie,” Mr.Haus stated. ” “People are just taking this way too seriously.”

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PubeCuts.com – It’s Great Clips for Pubic Hair

Pubic hair is making a comeback.  It had virtually disappeared on women since the early 90’s.  Now that PubeCuts.com is available again, hopefully some entrepreneur will snatch up this domain, taking full advantage of the pubic hair revival trend and open a salon dedicated to helping women and men turn their unruly Amazon rain forests into neatly trimmed suburban lawns.  After 30 minutes at PubeCuts, your lover won’t need a sickle to slash his or her way to the good stuff.

In case you’ve barely (get it?) noticed, everyone has been talking about the great pube resurgence.  Of course, when it comes to something as important as pubic hair (or the UN), we must rely on what celebrities think help us decide what is best for us.  The list of pro-pube celebs includes:  Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow (a full bush proponent), Lady Gaga (of course),  and Solange Knowles (didn’t know she actually qualifies as a celebrity).

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Should Westboro Baptist Church Rebrand to GodHatesThingsIDontLike.com?

Now that GodHatesEverythingIDontLike.com is available again for registration, the gang at Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) needs to snap it up and rebrand all of its hate websites under one.

While I doubt Domain Roast has many readers inside the Westboro Baptist Church, just in case any of you homemade-hate-sign-making zealots are reading this, seriously consider consolidating all of your hates under one master brand of hate. Right now, you guys are spending a ton of money to operate all of your sister sites, including GodHatesIslam.com, GodHatesTheMedia.com, GodHatesFags.com, GodHatesTheWorld.com, JewsKilledJesus.com, BeastObama.com, and PriestsRapeBoys.com. It takes a lot of time and money to run seven websites. Trying to please the SEO gods at Google, having multiple social media accounts, and constantly haveing to come up with new content —  Who needs all that hassle?

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13 Signs You Belong On LiberalDouche.com

What’s the difference between a liberal and a liberal douche?   Our Buzzfeed listicle sums it up, but if you want more substance, keep reading. A liberal douche shoves his or her liberalness in your face every chance he or she gets.  For example, if you drive a Prius, you don’t even need to do anything else – you’re a liberal douche.  If you think Bernie Sanders would make a good president, again, what can I say?  You’re a liberal douche.

I’m liberal.  But, I’m not liberal douche liberal. After consulting my liberal friends (including one pansexual) and my three right-wing friends, I’ve created a scientifically accurate test with 98.4% certainty to determine if you’re a liberal douche and need a profile on LiberalDouche.com.

If you answer “yes” to at least eight of the following questions,  you’re a liberal douche.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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How Many Douchebags In A Hummer Limo Wear Affliction T-Shirts?

If you see a white Hummer limo with a giant tribal tattoo design stenciled across it, parked outside a Las Vegas hotel, there is a 100% chance that (a) 10-12 douchbags are inside, (b) a vast majority of them wearing Affliction t-shirts, and (c) at least one of the guys inside is named Trent, Trevor, Brody or Chad.

The inspiration for this post was not this amazing picture I snapped myself in Vegas last weekend (not one iStock credit had to be sacrificed), it was that DoucheBagBoys.com wasn’t renewed and became available again for registration. Sadly, the minute I saw the limo, the first thing that came to my mind was, “I now have the perfect picture for the douchebagboys.com post.”

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Where Your Gay Dog Would Rather Shop Instead of Petco

Your gay dog needs a place where he or she can buy fun outfits, pride chew toys, funky Sally Jessy Raphael glasses and whatever else is needed not to look and live like every other schmuck dog forced to shop at Petco.  So, when I saw that GayDogBoutique.com had expired and was available again for registration, so many things began racing through my mind.  Did the original registrant intend to create a retail store where gay people could buy outfits and trinkets for their dogs?  Or, did he or she intend to provide an online shopping experience where gay dogs would feel comfortable?

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Why Does Mike Huckabee Own FreeWomanVideo.com?

What is Mike Huckabee doing owning FreeWomanVideo.com? What kind of free woman video would the former Arkansas governor be giving away? Now that Mike Huckabee has quit Fox News to consider a 2016 presidental run, people might want to know about his domain collection.

If you had no idea who this guy was and just saw FreeWomanVideo.com, you might assume it was some kind of free solo action website.

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How Worthless Is Your U.S. Senator’s Domain Name?

There are so many ways to determine which U.S. senator is the most worthless.  If you rated them on bi-partisanship — all worthless.  If you rated them on representing the people’s interests — again worthless. But, at Domain Roast, we rate U.S. senators by the value of their domain names.

The most worthless senator by domain name value is (drum roll please) – Senator-elect David Perdue (R-GA).  Luckily, he’s the former CEO of Dollar General, so he’s used to cheap shit.  We used two domain name appraisal sites, DomainIndex.com and Estibot.com, to determine the results. Both of these sites varied (sometimes widely) in their valuations, but not for Mr. Perdue. DomainIndex values davidperdue.com at $0, while Estibot comes in at $190, for an average value of $95.

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The 4 Places Rep. Steve Scalise Thought He Was Speaking in 2002

After being busted speaking at a White Supremacist convention in 2002, Rep. Steve Scalise is pretending he has no idea what the fuck anyone is talking about.  The guy has boldly changed the URL on his Twitter page to majoritywhip.gov (a job he doesn’t even have until next week).

According to some of Rep. Scalise’s friends and House colleagues, here are some of the places he believes he was speaking on that now fateful day in 2002:

1.  A Conehead fan-fest

coneheadfans

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