Author - Jonesy

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Dink.com – No ‘breeders’ allowed.
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HipsterDoucheCafe.com – Where even the Macs have Mustaches and Fedoras
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Hashtag.com – Resume Buzzwords Meet Cellphones and Chivalry

Dink.com – No ‘breeders’ allowed.

   For those not in the know, Dink is a nifty little acronym invented in the 80’s (its true, Wikipedia said so), which stands for Dual Income, No Kids.  These financial wizards had the good sense and emotional fortitude to abstain from child rearing – and instead fill that hole in their lives with expensive cars, numerous vacations and the high possibility of Early Retirement (DINKER).
oh-you-have-three kids memeThese poor, pitiful souls must endlessly dine out in the finest restaurants to replace the beautiful joy of a toddler flinging spaghetti at them and then crying for two hours. Shells of human beings, they wander the tropical beaches of this world, necessarily paranoid a cartel might realize their net worth. If you’re reading this and thinking, “Hey, that’s me!” well we’ve got an exciting opportunity for you. Over 15,000 people plop the word Dink into a search engine every month, and yet Dink.com is available!  Estibot.com values Dink.com at $47,000, and that’s just a fraction of the $300k that you saved by not popping out your own little poop machine.

Dink.com represents a glorious chance to break away from the endless cycle of BMW models and arguing about whose turn it is to get up and pay the maid. All the antiquing and small dogs in the world can only do some much for your emotional well-being. You need a project, and that project should help all of Dink kind. DomainRoast locked its best interns in the conference room for 3 days and these are the possible uses for Dink.com that they came up with. (We suspect they may have huffed the markers.)

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HipsterDoucheCafe.com – Where even the Macs have Mustaches and Fedoras

We here at DomainRoast have very exciting news for any and all flannel aficionados in their mid-20s. Its time to tap into that endless piggybank called crushing debt and snap up HipsterDoucheCafe.com!

GJ Bro!

Despite having the $4 coffee, the fair trade organic batch roasted humane vegan beans and a barista whose primary concern is waxing his ‘stache’, some cafés just don’t exude that special judgmental feeling. You need a safe place, where you can look unique, creative, edgy – all while conforming to an irritating trend in every conceivable way. Yes, you’ll look back on these days and cringe the way your parents do about bell-bottoms and feathered hair, but for now you’re gorgeous! Read More

Hashtag.com – Resume Buzzwords Meet Cellphones and Chivalry

A Facebook friend of mine recently lost his mind when his college statistics professor referred to a pound-sign (#) as a hashtag (also #).
Now, I don’t need that kind of willful lack of perspective in my life #tyvm, but I just had to wiki ‘hashtag.’ What started as an innocent attempt to discover the origin of a word quickly devolved into a meme drenched frenzy, until I ended up at Hashtag.com.

What is it? Where did it come from? Why are freshly coiffed young people checking their phones in heraldic tunics with #sparklepony on standby? I quickly dispatched our research team to get to the bottom of this internet mystery. Here are our top 5 theories about the nature of this #fabulous web enigma.

1. LinkedIn’s daring new venture in #ambiguity.

LinkedIn, capitalizing on its already stellar reputation for #networking websites that may or may not be worth your time, is rolling out its new #ChatRoulette inspired career site, in which under-qualified recent graduates are given 30 seconds to prove to prospective employers that, yes, their Master of Theatrical Arts degree totally qualifies them to work your corporation’s front desk – with style, panache and jazz hands. The #buzzword drenched title and info pop-up both indicate that you can build your resume, start an incredible career, save the world and get #kewl prizes while doing so! If that doesn’t get your 25-year-old #Millennial off the couch and out of your basement, nothing will!

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