Category - Expiring Domains That Could Be Yours

1
How Many Douchebags In A Hummer Limo Wear Affliction T-Shirts?
2
Where Your Gay Dog Would Rather Shop Instead of Petco
3
How Worthless Is Your U.S. Senator’s Domain Name?
4
KKKparty.com – Where White Pride Meets The Electric Slide
5
Got CokeMoney.com?
6
Domain Names Jesus Probably Didn’t Register (But Somebody Did)
7
Google Says “Jews Can’t Jump”
8
Fiberburst.com + Pantybomb.com= HappyShit.com
9
Should The World’s Tallest Clown Have His Own Website?
10
New Website Aims To Warn Others of Craft Beer Douchebags

How Many Douchebags In A Hummer Limo Wear Affliction T-Shirts?

If you see a white Hummer limo with a giant tribal tattoo design stenciled across it, parked outside a Las Vegas hotel, there is a 100% chance that (a) 10-12 douchbags are inside, (b) a vast majority of them wearing Affliction t-shirts, and (c) at least one of the guys inside is named Trent, Trevor, Brody or Chad.

The inspiration for this post was not this amazing picture I snapped myself in Vegas last weekend (not one iStock credit had to be sacrificed), it was that DoucheBagBoys.com wasn’t renewed and became available again for registration. Sadly, the minute I saw the limo, the first thing that came to my mind was, “I now have the perfect picture for the douchebagboys.com post.”

Read More

Where Your Gay Dog Would Rather Shop Instead of Petco

Your gay dog needs a place where he or she can buy fun outfits, pride chew toys, funky Sally Jessy Raphael glasses and whatever else is needed not to look and live like every other schmuck dog forced to shop at Petco.  So, when I saw that GayDogBoutique.com had expired and was available again for registration, so many things began racing through my mind.  Did the original registrant intend to create a retail store where gay people could buy outfits and trinkets for their dogs?  Or, did he or she intend to provide an online shopping experience where gay dogs would feel comfortable?

Read More

How Worthless Is Your U.S. Senator’s Domain Name?

There are so many ways to determine which U.S. senator is the most worthless.  If you rated them on bi-partisanship — all worthless.  If you rated them on representing the people’s interests — again worthless. But, at Domain Roast, we rate U.S. senators by the value of their domain names.

The most worthless senator by domain name value is (drum roll please) – Senator-elect David Perdue (R-GA).  Luckily, he’s the former CEO of Dollar General, so he’s used to cheap shit.  We used two domain name appraisal sites, DomainIndex.com and Estibot.com, to determine the results. Both of these sites varied (sometimes widely) in their valuations, but not for Mr. Perdue. DomainIndex values davidperdue.com at $0, while Estibot comes in at $190, for an average value of $95.

Read More

KKKparty.com – Where White Pride Meets The Electric Slide

KKKparty.com couldn’t have dropped at a more perfect time for the GOP. Now that the incoming House majority whip, Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA) just acknowledged that he spoke at a white-supremacist event organized by a neo-Nazi group in 2002, the GOP should just embrace it all.   This way when your next Tea Party member spouts off some horribly racist bullshit, flip the switch on the “lame stream” media and just remind us Americans that “white pride” goes with “Electric Slide” and it’s all about beer, guns,  and two-steppin’ (if the white folk can’t quite master the rhythm of The Electric Slide).   Have KKKparty.com  supply a whites-only party in a box with everything you need for that ultimate KKK backyard BBQ.

Every KKKparty.com set could include the following:

1.  Fucked Up Party Teeth

bubbateeth

2.  Fun Keychains for the Kids

hitlerkeychain

Read More

Got CokeMoney.com?

Anytime you ask friends, “Wanna do some coke tonight?”, the reaction is almost universally:

And then it comes down to who has the coke money.  If you’re cool, you’ve already purchased the coke before getting your friends all amped up on anticipation. If you’re only semi-cool, you have a coke dealer on speed dial, but you’re going to ask everyone to chip in. Coke money doesn’t just grow on trees (yes, we know it’s from the coca plant, but a plant is not a tree).  If you’re not cool at all, you have no drug connections of any kind and probably ask younger, hip looking people, “You know where I can score some drugs?”

Read More

Domain Names Jesus Probably Didn’t Register (But Somebody Did)

For this special Christmas Eve post of Domain Roast, we found domain names that we’re pretty sure Jesus didn’t register.  Outside of The New Testament, the only place you may see Jesus’s name more is on the daily drop lists of expiring domain names.  People love registering domains about Jesus. Many of the names are religious (duh) and not ripe for roasting, but a few have expired in the past few weeks that deserve a Christmas shout out.  As of this posting, all of these names are available for registration, so if you need a last minute gift for that person who is hard to buy for, we’ve got you covered.

JesusNoogies.com

My initial thought was a youth pastor who looks like the manny from Modern Family (played so brilliantly by Adam Devine), giving a noogie to any pudgy kid from The Goonies.  But, then I found a mouse pad for sale, where Jesus is giving a noogie to Satan.  While Domain Roast doesn’t normally plug products or services, this mouse pad is awesome and makes a great stocking stuffer.  Plus, it’s only $7.77.  You can buy one here.

Read More

Google Says “Jews Can’t Jump”

When I saw that JewsCanJump.com had just dropped and was now available for purchase again, I did what everyone else does in these situations — I asked Google if Jews could really jump,because if Jews jumping is a thing, maybe this name has some value.  As you can see, Google doesn’t think Jews can jump.

Read More

Fiberburst.com + Pantybomb.com= HappyShit.com

Don’t get enough fiber from your daily diet?  

Do you sometimes feel bloated and disgusting, like you have hardening sludge in your stomach?  

Do you want to feel thinner without getting your ass off the couch?

If I told you that you could feel really thin, but you may shit in your pants to achieve the result, would you do it?

If you answered YES to the above questions, it’s time to start downing Fiberburst until every last piece of fecal matter in your body flows like a  gooey chocolate kiss down a rainbow into our patent-pending Pantybomb, guaranteed to keep your shit contained.  And, if you don’t want your shit to stink, try Pantybomb Rose Garden.

Read More

Should The World’s Tallest Clown Have His Own Website?

As a new convert / viewer of American Horror Story: Freak Show (Season 4), I’ve spent a lot of time remembering why clowns creep me out.  I’ll admit that I’ve been viewing the world lately through the prism of American Horror Story.  And, that is how you are now reading about BuckNolan.com (which you can buy at Godaddy).Charles Logan Buxton (stage name:  Buck Nolan) was the world’s tallest clown, towering over everyone at 7’4″.   Even though Buck died in 2004, I haven’t found a taller clown.

Read More

New Website Aims To Warn Others of Craft Beer Douchebags

Well, the website doesn’t exist yet, but the domain name BeerDouches.com is available.  Plus, it’s versatile and brandable. And, it’s a category killer in the ever growing douchebag market. The no brainer use for this domain is a site (and corresponding app) that warns you when a craft beer douchebag may be near you at your local brew pub / gastro pub / place with a million local beers on tap.  Nothing worse than getting beer shamed while simply trying to get a cold one.

Yeah, maybe Stella Artois isn’t the greatest beer ever, but if I’m next to you ordering it, I don’t need a lesson on yeast and hops.  Maybe I’m just ordering the first thing I see because I want to get away from your Unibomber beard and that knit beanie you bought at Hollister (but want to pretend you bought at someplace that sells sustainable cotton, viscose and nylon blends).  If BeerDouches.com was up and running, hopefully someone would have already registered your phone number on the site, so the GPS signal could identify where you are in the bar and I could just move to another open spot to order in peace.

Read More

Copyright © DomainRoast.com 2014. All rights reserved.