Category - Religious

1
PancakeJesus.com – Seeing The Light One Flapjack at a Time
2
Should Westboro Baptist Church Rebrand to GodHatesThingsIDontLike.com?
3
Domain Names Jesus Probably Didn’t Register (But Somebody Did)
4
Google Says “Jews Can’t Jump”

PancakeJesus.com – Seeing The Light One Flapjack at a Time

Jesus has appeared to people in various forms over the past 2000 years.  For some reason, in the U.S., Jesus seems to show up on pancakes.   It’s a much more creative (and delicious) way to appeal to believers than appearing in a burning bush (Jews).  Yes, scaring the shit out of me with fire that talks to me would momentarily work, but peacefully appearing on a tasty carb patty would work better.  Who doesn’t love pancakes?  So,  it’s a smart move on Jesus’s part.  Need to convince some slob who isn’t attending church but once a year that he better get his fat ass in gear, show up in something you know he loves way more than you (Jesus) – a piping, hot stack of pancakes oozing with syrup and butter.

Now that PancakeJesus.com has dropped and is available again, it’s the perfect time for someone who loves the Lord, pancakes, miracles, or just overall cool stuff to grab this domain and start tracking Jesus’s appearance at diners and home kitchens across the country.

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Should Westboro Baptist Church Rebrand to GodHatesThingsIDontLike.com?

Now that GodHatesEverythingIDontLike.com is available again for registration, the gang at Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) needs to snap it up and rebrand all of its hate websites under one.

While I doubt Domain Roast has many readers inside the Westboro Baptist Church, just in case any of you homemade-hate-sign-making zealots are reading this, seriously consider consolidating all of your hates under one master brand of hate. Right now, you guys are spending a ton of money to operate all of your sister sites, including GodHatesIslam.com, GodHatesTheMedia.com, GodHatesFags.com, GodHatesTheWorld.com, JewsKilledJesus.com, BeastObama.com, and PriestsRapeBoys.com. It takes a lot of time and money to run seven websites. Trying to please the SEO gods at Google, having multiple social media accounts, and constantly haveing to come up with new content —  Who needs all that hassle?

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Domain Names Jesus Probably Didn’t Register (But Somebody Did)

For this special Christmas Eve post of Domain Roast, we found domain names that we’re pretty sure Jesus didn’t register.  Outside of The New Testament, the only place you may see Jesus’s name more is on the daily drop lists of expiring domain names.  People love registering domains about Jesus. Many of the names are religious (duh) and not ripe for roasting, but a few have expired in the past few weeks that deserve a Christmas shout out.  As of this posting, all of these names are available for registration, so if you need a last minute gift for that person who is hard to buy for, we’ve got you covered.

JesusNoogies.com

My initial thought was a youth pastor who looks like the manny from Modern Family (played so brilliantly by Adam Devine), giving a noogie to any pudgy kid from The Goonies.  But, then I found a mouse pad for sale, where Jesus is giving a noogie to Satan.  While Domain Roast doesn’t normally plug products or services, this mouse pad is awesome and makes a great stocking stuffer.  Plus, it’s only $7.77.  You can buy one here.

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Google Says “Jews Can’t Jump”

When I saw that JewsCanJump.com had just dropped and was now available for purchase again, I did what everyone else does in these situations — I asked Google if Jews could really jump,because if Jews jumping is a thing, maybe this name has some value.  As you can see, Google doesn’t think Jews can jump.

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