Category - Totally Random

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Hashtag.com – Resume Buzzwords Meet Cellphones and Chivalry
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How Many Douchebags In A Hummer Limo Wear Affliction T-Shirts?
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Fiberburst.com + Pantybomb.com= HappyShit.com
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Should The World’s Tallest Clown Have His Own Website?

Hashtag.com – Resume Buzzwords Meet Cellphones and Chivalry

A Facebook friend of mine recently lost his mind when his college statistics professor referred to a pound-sign (#) as a hashtag (also #).
Now, I don’t need that kind of willful lack of perspective in my life #tyvm, but I just had to wiki ‘hashtag.’ What started as an innocent attempt to discover the origin of a word quickly devolved into a meme drenched frenzy, until I ended up at Hashtag.com.

What is it? Where did it come from? Why are freshly coiffed young people checking their phones in heraldic tunics with #sparklepony on standby? I quickly dispatched our research team to get to the bottom of this internet mystery. Here are our top 5 theories about the nature of this #fabulous web enigma.

1. LinkedIn’s daring new venture in #ambiguity.

LinkedIn, capitalizing on its already stellar reputation for #networking websites that may or may not be worth your time, is rolling out its new #ChatRoulette inspired career site, in which under-qualified recent graduates are given 30 seconds to prove to prospective employers that, yes, their Master of Theatrical Arts degree totally qualifies them to work your corporation’s front desk – with style, panache and jazz hands. The #buzzword drenched title and info pop-up both indicate that you can build your resume, start an incredible career, save the world and get #kewl prizes while doing so! If that doesn’t get your 25-year-old #Millennial off the couch and out of your basement, nothing will!

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How Many Douchebags In A Hummer Limo Wear Affliction T-Shirts?

If you see a white Hummer limo with a giant tribal tattoo design stenciled across it, parked outside a Las Vegas hotel, there is a 100% chance that (a) 10-12 douchbags are inside, (b) a vast majority of them wearing Affliction t-shirts, and (c) at least one of the guys inside is named Trent, Trevor, Brody or Chad.

The inspiration for this post was not this amazing picture I snapped myself in Vegas last weekend (not one iStock credit had to be sacrificed), it was that DoucheBagBoys.com wasn’t renewed and became available again for registration. Sadly, the minute I saw the limo, the first thing that came to my mind was, “I now have the perfect picture for the douchebagboys.com post.”

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Fiberburst.com + Pantybomb.com= HappyShit.com

Don’t get enough fiber from your daily diet?  

Do you sometimes feel bloated and disgusting, like you have hardening sludge in your stomach?  

Do you want to feel thinner without getting your ass off the couch?

If I told you that you could feel really thin, but you may shit in your pants to achieve the result, would you do it?

If you answered YES to the above questions, it’s time to start downing Fiberburst until every last piece of fecal matter in your body flows like a  gooey chocolate kiss down a rainbow into our patent-pending Pantybomb, guaranteed to keep your shit contained.  And, if you don’t want your shit to stink, try Pantybomb Rose Garden.

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Should The World’s Tallest Clown Have His Own Website?

As a new convert / viewer of American Horror Story: Freak Show (Season 4), I’ve spent a lot of time remembering why clowns creep me out.  I’ll admit that I’ve been viewing the world lately through the prism of American Horror Story.  And, that is how you are now reading about BuckNolan.com (which you can buy at Godaddy).Charles Logan Buxton (stage name:  Buck Nolan) was the world’s tallest clown, towering over everyone at 7’4″.   Even though Buck died in 2004, I haven’t found a taller clown.

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