PimpGoat.com – Where’s My Money Doe?

When I saw GoatPimp.com had just expired and was available again for registration, I immediately thought the same thing you would  – a pimp who also happened to be a goat, like this player above. As I began my search to see what would have made someone register that domain in the first place, I learned more than one could ever possibly want to know about goat sex.  What other blog can provide such random scientific, yet mildly amusing information without a pay wall?

The first thing I discovered was the only other blog posting (possibly ever ) with “Goat Pimp” in the title.  While there aren’t pictures, this guy leaves nothing to the imagination.  Honestly, the text is enough to scar one for life, but seriously is a must read.  To be fair, the pimp goat blogger does post this warning before the piece:

If you are offended or think you may become offended by somewhat graphic descriptions of goat foreplay and sex, stop reading right now

I will just add that if you aren’t okay with Golden Showers or ejaculation all over one’s beard, for sure don’t click on the link above.  That being said, one never knows when one’s knowledge of goat sex might come in handy.  I wouldn’t boast about this knowledge on a first date, but I feel it could impress a bunch of stoned people at a White Castle between 1 a.m.-3 a.m.

The great thing about goat sex is that it makes Tea Party types automatically start thinking about guns, which I totally get.  Guns and ejaculating all over your own face go hand in hand.  So, thanks to the Pimp Goat Tea Party Chapter of Hudson, Wisconsin for sending this along:

goat and guns

And for you Tea Party types who are pissed that I just did this and who complain how Obama is the devil, this is for you :

blackgoat

Birthers, Tea Partiers, and Reagan Democrats, feel free to use this photo to make dartboards, coasters, mouse pads, and/or t-shirts.  And, if you really  get off on the whole Obama-is-the-Devil thing and have  a bottle of lotion and some alone time, we won’t tell.

It’s amazing how a post that starts about PimpGoat.com can get so politically charged (albeit by one person).  Anyway, your big takeaways from this post should be:

  1. PimpGoat.com is available for registration;
  2. Goat sex is super messy; and
  3. In the writing of this post: no fucks were given

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