GodToldMe.com Reveals God’s True Choice for President in 2016

Someone here is lying and it doesn’t appear to be God.  At least six GOP presidential candidates have declared “God told me” to run for president.

In 2013, Mike Huckabee stated that he wanted God to decide whether the Huck should run for president.  And God did it! Mike’s in!

2008 Republican National Convention: Day 3

But it appears God is two-timing Gov. Huckabee and has a little Ben Carson on the side. In an interview with Sean Hannity, Dr. Carson said he would run, “If the Lord grabbed me by the collar and made me do it (run for president).” And, by God, the good doctor is in the race!

ben carson

God is kind of a player when it comes to making guys think he wants them to run for president.

God is whispering sweet nothings in Scott Walker’s ear too. Scott Walker describes his presidential bid as “God’s plan.”

ScottWalker_crop

Nope, scrap that, God is four-timing these guys.

John Kasich stated on “Meet The Press” that he was “exploring what the Lord wants before deciding to enter the race.”  Kasich is in too.

731px-Governor_John_Kasich

God is bullshitting someone here because Rick Perry also says God has chosen him to be president. To be fair, Perry’s wife, Anita, likened Rick to Moses, so maybe it’s the Jewish god and not the Christian god involved her.  Gov. Perry claims that God sent him message through others to run in 2011 and 2016. Doesn’t he get that God might be fucking with him?

Governor_of_Texas_Rick_Perry_at_Southern_Republican_Leadership_Conference,_Oklahoma_City,12_OK_May_2015_by_Michael_Vadon_20

And, of course, there’s God’s perennial “favorite” Rick Santorum.  God told him to run in 2012 and given that he’s running again, God must have whispered something in his ear, although it was probably, “You better not worry about me and worry about explaining your support from the Duggars in 2012.”

Rick_Santorum_at_Southern_Republican_Leadership_Conference,_Oklahoma_City,_OK_1_May_2015_by_Michael_Vadon_08

These guys all believe in the same God, so do they think God is playing a joke on the other five? Would God do that? Actually, this God would:

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